Dark Tower Tragedy

Posted on January 3, 2018 by brhyne0515

Dark Tower

For the most part, I have been keeping the posts on this blog positive, and my intention with reviews was to do the same. But then I watched the Dark Tower movie, and witnessed what it did to my favorite book series. It left me with the need to stand up and say something.

The Dark Tower movie was easily the worst thing I saw in 2017. It was painful to try to get through that disjointed abomination.

It was obvious from the beginning that the writer/director did not bother to read the source material. Quite frankly, I’m not even sure he read the titles of the books. It was more than just trying to condense the content of an epic series into a 90 minute movie, he eliminated all but three of the characters, and changed almost the entire setting to earth, when only a small portion of the books are set there. Two of the greatest attributes of the series are character development and world building, and in a series of misguided key strokes the director eliminated both.

The number of inconsistencies with the series aside, the plot was so incoherent that if I hadn’t read the series I wouldn’t have been able to follow along. Seriously, this script may have been developed entirely by filling out a Mad Libs tablet with words he heard people who have read Dark Tower use. I’ve seen better stories written in crayon.

I feel bad for Idris Elba an Matthew McConaughey, who are both richly talented actors who did the best they could with the material they had. My guess is they signed the contract without reading the script, and once they read it they had no choice but to close their eyes and think of England.

I didn’t go into this movie with high expectations, the reviews (from professionals, not my drivel) were horrible and the internet was not kind. Rotten Tomatoes gave it a score of 16%, which is one of the lowest scores I have ever seen. Having now watched the film, I’d say the 16% of people who liked it need to be pistol-whipped using one of Roland’s guns.

I know that, with a few notable exceptions, Stephen King’s work has a history of not translating well to the screen. But this sets the bar at a brand new low.

The director of this film forgot the face of his father, and we all suffered the consequences.

It Only Ends Once

Posted on January 1, 2018 by brhyne0515

Rumi Quote

Author’s Note: I do not like the term “God” as I don’t involve myself with organized religion. When I read this I use either Universe or Spirit.

“It only ends once. Everything else that happens is just progress.” That’s my favorite line from the show LOST and I love the sentiment behind it. And I have found myself thinking about it a lot as I close out 2017 and look forward to 2018. As much as anyone I am ready for 2017 to go fuck right off.

Without a doubt this has been tumultuous year. I lost my job after being there less than a year. This just after my second trip to the ER in that time span to treat symptoms stemming from anxiety attacks. A condition I had successfully navigated for over 20 years prior. This has also been compounded by fighting within my family, with many longstanding issues finally starting to come to a head.

Looking back at 2017 with hate and disdain accomplishes nothing, and when I stopped looking at it that way for a moment, I realized the value of what I learned through the turmoil.

I learned that I had spent far too long trying to be someone I am not. Too long being someone others told me that I should be. That I had convinced myself I should be. I learned that in order to unburden myself of anxiety that was becoming crippling I needed to heed the advice of Polonius: “To thine own self be true.”

This is not as easy as it sounds. First you have to know yourself. I never really took the time to do that the way others had. I’ve had glimmers of it, but in order to start seeing the fuller picture, I needed to divert the energy that I was spending trying to be someone I wasn’t, and instead spend it on discovering and becoming the man I want to be. Self-discovery is a never ending journey, but it can only happen when you are on the right path.

I also learned in turn that this will be met with resistance by others. The more you disrupt the status quo of some people, the more push back you are going to receive. And that sometimes when you are being true to yourself, you have to make the hard choice to let people you care about go if they are toxic.

I was reminded about the incredible power of friendship. In fact, I have an entire post dedicated to it called Will They Help You Bury a Body. My friends are truly amazing. Encouraging me as I explore my creative side and start to carve out a path for how to best turn my passion into a profession.

These lessons are helping me come into 2018 with a clear vision of what I want to achieve. I gave up on setting broad sweeping resolutions years ago. It almost never works out. But this year I have some clearly defined goals complete with benchmarks and steps written out to get them done to help keep me mindful of the process. These goals include publishing my first novel, launching a successful podcast and expanding this site among other creative ideas. I also have goals financially, as well as for health and wellness.

So as much as I am glad to put 2017 in the rear view mirror and watch it get throat punched by a bear, I am grateful for the lessons it taught me.

Looking onward, upward and forward to 2018.

Reading Rainbow

Posted on December 17, 2017 by brhyne0515

When-you-see-it-Bookcase

I am a very carnivorous reader. Seriously, some might call it an addiction. And when you extend that to my consumption of all forms of content there would be no argument at all. I am also an active user of a website called Goodreads. If you are a reader and are not using it, you should really give it a shot.

One of the things that Goodreads does is allow you to set a reading challenge for yourself for the calendar year. In 2016 I had a goal of 100 books, and ended up reading 103. So I set out in 2017 with a goal of 156 (three books a week). I hit that in August, and decided to reset the goal to 200, which I have hit and will have room to spare by Dec. 31st.

If 200 books seems like a lot it’s because it is. It is an average of just under 4 books a week. No one has time to read that much. Including me. Contrary to what that volume of books suggests, I DO have an active social calendar. I just learned how to fold reading into the everyday business of life.Overdrive

About 40% of my “reading” comes from audiobooks, which I get from an audible.com subscription and , which is an app that delivers audiobooks and ebooks to your phone or tablet. This allows me to fill pockets of time when I am running, cooking, cleaning, driving, showering, etc., with content. Stephen King famously reads for five hours each day. I’m not sure that I hit that high watermark, even with audiobooks, but they provide hours of “reading” that wouldn’t otherwise be there.

I also spent most Sundays, at least in the mornings with coffee, reading. Sundays are my time. I could get lost in a book for a day if I was able. It is one of my most tranquil practices.

As 2017 closes out, I am looking back at my year in reading, and ahead to 2018 and I have some new goals to push myself even further in consuming my first and favorite form of content. I am still debating on the reading goal for the year. But I have decided on a few things I need to do a better job of incorporating into my reading.

I need to get better about non-fiction. My non-fiction shelf of read books for the past several years is anemic. I get so caught up in my love of the unfolding of story that I forget about the great true stories of our past and present, the engaging wealth of knowledge that is out there just waiting to be consumed.

I need to get better about reading any of the several classics that I have missed along the way, which is more than I care to admit as an aspiring author. The greats of the past have influenced the greats of the present that I consume regularly and I want to experience what they have to say.

I also want to read more literary and fiction magazines. Not only because these are publications that I will be submitting to more frequently next year, but because these publications are full of stories by new and emerging authors that I have enjoyed reading in the limited amount I have experienced so far.

I love so many things about reading it is hard to know where to begin. I love exploring the world created by the author and walking with the protagonist on his or her journey. I love what it teaches me about being a writer. But most of all I love what it teaches me about myself as a unique human being.

Blogging Lessons

Posted on December 15, 2017 by brhyne0515

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I started this blog eight weeks ago with no idea what I was doing or where I was heading. And after nearly two months I still don’t have an answer to either of those questions. But there has been tremendous value in the experience and the lessons I have learned so far.

Stephen King is famously quoted as saying: “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.” This seems simple enough at first glance. And I certainly have the reading thing down. But writing is a whole different thing. Most writers, yours truly included, sometimes have trouble getting out of their own way and just writing. I can’t speak for writers everywhere, but for me one of the key reasons is I want everything to come out of me like Sorkin-esque dialogue on the first try. I want everything to be perfectly phrased and witty with strong imagery and conviction. I want to do it like they do in the movies.

That is never gonna happen with a rough draft, nor is it meant to. And anyone who has been reading this blog knows by now it is far from perfect and a work in progress.

But to me that is part of the beauty of it. Making a point to publish regularly has not only pushed me to write more, but it has forced me to become more comfortable with letting people see my writing, which is a bigger step than I can express. It also keeps me in practice. And practice doesn’t make you perfect, but it does make you better.

Posting frequently also keeps writing at the top of my mind which is pushing me creatively in a number of ways. From outlining a novel and finishing NaNoWriMo, to the list of short story ideas in my notebook, to the scripts I have been developing for a podcast and the ideas I have for creative content for this blog, I have been more productive creatively than ever before in my life. And it feels amazing. I can feel the momentum it is generating pushing me toward my goals.

This blog has also been a journal of sorts as I follow the path of my own creativity. Which has been therapeutic. I have been enjoying the fact that is is about nothing and everything and has had no real direction. It has been helpful in my quest to find mine.

I am also learning more about website development through WordPress, which I knew nothing about before this started. One of the things I have learned is that I am going to have to upgrade the site in order to incorporate some of the ideas I have for 2018. And that will lead to a whole new round of learning.

As we close out 2017 I am thankful for the friends that nudged me into starting this even though I didn’t know the way. And excited about the opportunities that lie ahead.

Training Sprains

Posted on December 13, 2017 by brhyne0515

Running Injury

In Chasing Another Ultra I talked about being on the path to another 50K. Immediately after that post I started off strong. I wasn’t getting great times on my runs, and I didn’t expect to. But I was getting good time on feet, and good consistency, which are far more important. That lasted about two weeks.

Everyone complains about Kansas City roads, but Kansas City sidewalks are just as bad. I was humming along engrossed in an audiobook. I failed to notice that up ahead the sidewalk was not in its natural state of flat, but had become an obstacle course meant to ensnare my unsuspecting toe.

My toe screamed into the sidewalk with great fury and was promptly punished for the indiscretion. I was reminded of the cost of not paying attention as I limped home for the next 2.5 miles. And for 2.5 weeks after that.

I’ve had numerous injuries throughout my life as a result of sports (mainly running) and toe injuries are among the worst. I’ve actually dislocated both of my big toes before, making them susceptible to re-injury. They are painful as fuck, and take forever to heal when it is impossible to completely stay off your feet.

I try to use everything as an opportunity to learn and grow, and injuries are no exception. I am a fairly high energy person, and running is a soothing activity to me. So as I sat with my foot in an ice bath I tried to figure out what the lesson was, other than “pay attention and be less clumsy.” Which anyone that knows me would tell you is not likely to ever be learned.

Then I remembered a passage while reading Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman:

“Look, what happens if you have a sore ankle one day?”

“I work some other area.”

“It’s the same with your three centers. If one area isn’t going well, it’s still an opportunity to train the others. On some of your weakest physical days you can learn the most about your mind.”

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I turned my injury into a transformative experience. But it did give me the opportunity to focus on a few areas of training that I tend to ignore: breathing, stretching and core work. And since I wanted to keep making forward progress, I decided these would be the areas I would focus on.

And the results showed when I finally got back to running. My breathing felt more natural, and my muscles weren’t as sore and stiff when I got back to the actual practice of running. I haven’t gotten faster yet, but I feel more like a whole runner than I had before I got injured.

I am grateful for the lesson about shifting focus when one area is weaker, in an effort to become stronger as a whole and plan on applying it to all areas of my life.

I just hope that next time I need the reminder, it comes more gently than a sprained toe.

A Different 50K Finish Line

Posted on December 5, 2017 by brhyne0515

I did it! I did it! I did it! Okay, I promise I’ll stop screaming like a schoolboy now. But I DID IT!! Okay, now I’m done. We are now in the month of December which means that NaNoWriMo is over (most of you just call it November) and although I had to push at the end I got my 50K words worth of novel done. It’s not the full novel yet, I still have a lot to put my protagonist and antagonist through before I am done. But it is more words of a novel than I have ever put down and is a huge step towards the ultimate goal of being published.

More valuable than the words on the page is what I learned about myself and my writing through the experience. Like many writers, I have trouble getting out of my own way and just writing. With a deadline and a goal I was less worried about the words themselves and more focused on getting words on the page. A rough draft is meant to be precisely that. Rough. The story and the writing will get smoothed out in editing. But only if you get a draft out of your head and onto the page first.

I also discovered a tremendous amount about my story. As I mentioned in the post Ready Set WriMo, I went into this event with an outline. It was a fairly bare bones outline and I found myself adding chapters and expanding as I went, particularly as it came to back story. Getting the words on the page and seeing where the story went has allowed me to find the layering I didn’t even know I was looking for.

I also learned that I can do this. I can take longer stories and start fleshing them out. That I can write the longer concepts. I gained a higher level of confidence in my writing as a result of this event, and had fun doing it.

And for the first time I feel like publishing a novel is not just a dream, but an obtainable goal. That lesson alone was invaluable and makes this experience so rewarding and gratifying.

I am excited to finish the first draft and for all of the steps that come next. And grateful to NaNoWriMo for giving me momentum and more tools for my toolbox. I also learned that writing a book can be just as fun as reading one.

Knowledge is a Burden

Posted on November 27, 2017 by brhyne0515

let-the-knowledge

A question crossed my mind the other week: if I had an opportunity to know everything about everything in the world, would I take it?

Like most people, my first reaction was “Hell fucking yes! Who wouldn’t want that! I’d win every argument! I’d cure cancer! I’d bring about global peace! Or, more likely I’d take over the world!” Then I thought about it. And realized the answer was no, no I absolutely would not.

In an age where we are so overwhelmed with knowledge that it’s impossible to keep up, it would seem at first glance like this would be a good thing. I’m never going to read every book on my list, see every play, movie or show that I want to watch. I’m never going to know as much about history, or get to every museum. Why wouldn’t I want all of that in my head?

Then I thought about the cost. The cost would be the experience. The cost would be the ability to think on my own. The cost would be the ability to feel.

In a way, the cost would be my life.

Sometimes I get so caught up in catching up that I forget that the journey is the important thing. To inherently know everything would be to eliminate experiences like my first opera, or the way it felt to see the world premiere run of Between the Lines and hear what we call “the Mermaid Song” nearly blow the doors off Spencer Theater. Or the first time I read Way of the Peaceful Warrior and felt its truth. The list of valuable experiences like that in my life is truly endless.

Knowing everything takes exploration, curiosity and wonder out of the equation. Which takes away the joy of the journey. In a way that is taking away a piece of knowledge. You learn the facts but miss the lesson about yourself.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for the pursuit of knowledge. I never want to stop learning, or growing, or changing. I want to seek. I want to understand. I want to contemplate.

I’m not satisfied with knowing. I want to engage. I want to embody.

Submissive Submitting

Posted on November 25, 2017 by brhyne0515

deareditor

Part of my re-dedication to my creative path is to write and submit short stories. And the first thing that I learned was that I have no idea what I’m doing. I wrote a story called Sirens that came in at about 8500 words (which makes you thankful for the relative brevity of these posts, doesn’t it). After several rounds of editing, and input from some trusted friends, I decided that the only way to get over my fear of submission and rejection was to actually do it. So like the big boy I wasn’t I signed up for Duotrope (website database of places accepting submissions) and got to work. Turns out my story is considered long, and only eleven places accepted horror stories of that length, and only five of those were a fit on further research.

I still haven’t heard back from any of them. That was two months ago. I guess it’s not called ghosting if it’s completely one-sided.

In an effort not to be discouraged, I immediately began work on a second short story. It’s called Power’s Out and it is much shorter than my first offering. In my opinion it is better in some ways but worse in others. I plan on submitting it nonetheless. As such, I plugged the parameters into Duotrope with the reduced word count and all of a sudden there are one hundred and thirty-two options that fit. That is twelve fucking times as many options.

That is insane to me. Lesson one, don’t ignore the short in short stories.

That first story was actually the first time I sent anything to others to read since college. I still have nightmares about those workshops. For those of you who have never had your work submitted to a writers’ group for their critique, medieval torture has nothing on that. Seriously, it’s like getting kicked in the balls repeatedly by someone wearing steel-toed cowboy boots. The pointy kind.

But it did make me a better writer. Both by being critiqued by them about what worked and what didn’t. And by reading their work, critiquing it and learning from them as well. There was also a sense of “we are all in this together” with each group.

Getting critiqued is part of being a writer. So is submitting to unknown editors who don’t know you or your talent or your potential outside of what they see on a page. Part of that process is getting comfortable with the fear of putting yourself out there (it never goes away, and is also the motivation for this blog). I’ll never stop writing for myself, but knowing I am going to put it out there for other people to consume makes me want to sharpen my A game.

Gobble Gobble

Posted on November 23, 2017 by brhyne0515

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Happy Gobble Gobble Day! This is one of my favorite holidays, and the last line of defense between me and the obnoxious apocalypse that is Christmas. You will learn all about my intense hatred for that holiday at a later date in what I imagine will be an incredibly descriptive manner. But today is about Gobble Gobble Day. Today is about what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my friends. They are my lifeline, and my lifeblood. To me, they are each family, and I am very grateful to have them in my life.

I am thankful for my health. I am in the process of getting into the ultramarathon condition I was once in, and I have the strong base health to make that a very reachable goal.

I am thankful for my home. I love the location and character of my apartment. I am fortunate to have wonderful neighbors in an eclectic and vibrant neighborhood.

I am thankful for the experiences, good and bad, the challenges and the triumphs, that continue to shape my life. Each of them contains a lesson and a story that helps enrich me as a person.

I am thankful for my renewed passion for my creative pursuits. I had put down the pen for far too long and love beginning to take it seriously again. And for the support I have received from the people I care about as I traverse down this path. As with all things containing the unknown, it is more than a little frightening. Which is also what makes it even more exhilarating.

I wish all of you a wonderful Gobble Gobble day. And hope you have as many things to be thankful for as I do.

Snowfall of Pain

Posted on November 21, 2017 by brhyne0515

snow

In one of my first classes as a creative writing major a professor told me that snow was a significant literary symbol meant to serve as a great equalizer among humanity. She said something like “Social status doesn’t matter, everyone has to deal with snow and it shows we are all struggling with the same things on the inside.” I call bullshit. And I say this as an avid reader and aspiring writer, no one should have to work that hard to see the symbolism and its meaning in an author’s work. Plus, snow is setting and sometimes snow is just snow.

In terms of equalizers in fiction I have a different idea to throw out there. It’s pain. Pain is something everyone can relate to on some level. Some more than others, and seeing different types of pain on the page, screen or stage will affect people in different ways, but it will affect everyone. Also, pain is part of every story. The agonizing background of the anti-hero that propels him through the narrative. The physical wounds of a soldier trying to fight his way home. The angst of unrequited love.

Pain is a part of all narrative precisely because everyone can relate to it on some level. It will always conjure up emotion. Sometime it’s fear. Other times it’s anger. Still others it’s grief. Almost always there are feelings of empathy.

Pain helps us identify with the story. It helps us stop looking at characters as characters and makes us start looking at them as people. It makes the story more real to us. We identify with a character’s failures, and his suffering. But that also makes us rejoice in and celebrate in his triumphs even more. In short, making it real enriches the story for us.

My favorite novel is Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. The story is driven in large part by the protagonist’s fear of a cookie cutter lifestyle, the internal pain it causes and his rebellion against it. It was a concept that intensely resonated with me and allowed me to feel every page of the novel, and every frame of the movie.

Pain can invoke feelings of anger, fear and grief. Wait a minute. Actually so can snow. Maybe my old professor had it right all along.