Welcome to the second installment of a new feature on Typos of Life: your monthly horror-scope, where predictions about your demonic treachery await.
August Overview: The court of the fae dominates this month before giving way to a choir of angels on the 23rd. Manipulations and mischief run rampant, so watch your back while playing your prey against their own weaknesses. And if anyone makes you a promise, read the fine print. Although the fae can’t go back on their word, they adhere to the letter of the law, not its spirit. And the angels will be too absorbed in self-righteousness to lend voice to your cause.
Aquarius (Jan 20th – Feb 18): The cunning nature of your inner vampire salivates as you take stock of the worthy opponents surrounding you. Many will perish in your battle of wits with the manipulative fae, delightfully twirling their own entrails in their fingers before they realize what they’re doing. Your disdain for broken promises also leaves you in conflict this month, double checking every deal for built-in loopholes.
Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): Although the stifling heat is melting your shapeshifter, it still proves useful as you play both sides against each other in the court of fae. Many will do your bidding and slay your enemies without knowing what master they truly serve. As the month progresses your wisdom comes in conflict with your cruelty. The angels will speak to your inner martyr turning your violence inward. Your self-inflicted wounds will leave a trail of blood all the way into September.
Aries (Mar 21 – April 19): The long days and blistering sun leave your werewolf little time to howl at the moon, and you’re impatience rises to a rapid boil. You’re compulsion to take actions without thinking them through could make you easy prey for the fae if you’re not careful. You could be a powerful weapon in their hands, becoming their enforcer, collecting payments due from those souls unfortunate enough to sign these tainted deals.
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): The heightened senses of your hell-hound are set on edge by the mischief and mayhem of the fae. Their behaviors running in direct opposition to your straightforward and loyal tendencies. Once you’ve caught the fae’s scent you create your own path of blood and carnage tracking them down. You will not rest until their manipulative throats are in your teeth and you silence them for good.
Gemini (May 21-Jun 20): Your love of communication leaves you sickened by the fae’s use of it for their own sinister means. But your dueling doppelgängers leave you conflicted about whether you’re enraged by or envious of their cunning linguistic skills. Your conflict turns inward at first, as you are unsure of what to do with yourselves. But ultimately you decide to seek those that strike deals with the fae, your envy turning to rage as you attempt to claw the answers you seek from their flesh.
Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): Your banshee starts off the month searching for some well-earned down time after a busy July. But you soon find there is no rest for the wicked. You want nothing more than for your manipulative wails to meld with the mischief of the fae, and then drown out the choir of the angels as the month progresses. Unfortunately, your exhaustion intertwines with your insecurity and you lash out at the unsuspecting meat suits that mistakenly scurry across your path.
Leo (July 23 – Aug 22): This is your month as you are both king of the jungle and in control of the court. However, you could end up drunk on the blood of your own power if you aren’t careful, leaving you vulnerable to your many enemies. Your feline prowess combined with your fae cunning ultimately keep you safe, but only after your primal bloodlust carves you a new throne from the corpses of your enemies.
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22): Your angels take over in the back-end of this month, but until then you have to bide your time, and your tongue, while the fae hold court. The frustration of watching the fae rule seeps into the wall between right and wrong as you begin to question your sense of loyalty towards humanity. Michael’s sword sharpens into Lucifer’s blade as the month progresses and the masses hear the voice of your choir until their blood boils with the frequency of the fire flickering within you.
Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): Your diplomatic and fair-minded eyes keep watch over the fae this month. As you try to mother hen your friends and keep them from deals that sound sweet now but are bad in the long run. Your concern leaves you distracted and exhausted as your nymph takes over, his materialistic urges leaving you making a deal with a steep price. Your hen-house is slick with the blood of those you tried to protect.
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): As you are both distrusting and resourceful you have no use for the fae. Their promises remind you of the nefariousness of a crossroads demon. Instead, you use your siren song to coax those close to you only to entice them to do your bidding instead. Unfortunately for them, they discover to late your distrust leads you to discard them when you are done. Strewing their mutilated corpses throughout the street as a warning to those that would threaten to cross you.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): The ghost has always had a unique relationship with the fae. As ghosts aren’t truly bound by this realm, they aren’t subject to the court of the fae. As such, there is an uneasy truce where you leave each other alone. This unease is amplified as you watch those close to you fall subject to constant manipulation and then mayhem that comes with it. This offends your honest sensibilities, leaving you to want to terrorize your friends into staying home until the threat has passed. You take your haunting too far and many pay the price for your overzealousness.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): If your mermaid could stay submerged in the cool waters of the lake until summer is over and court is in recess you would. But instead you feel lost in a sea of worst expectations. You exercise your frustration by drowning your enemies in a tidal wave of your own unforgiving judgement. Many suffocate, their bloated bodies now serving as cautionary bouys, a warning to those thinking of sharing your waters.