The Angel Choir’s Call: Your September Horror-Scope

Angel

September Overview: A choir of the angels sings the deafening death rattle of summer this month until the nefarious nymph frolics in the fall starting on the 23rd. These are not the angels of our better nature, and they use the final blast of heat from summer to scorch the earth beneath them.

Aquarius (Jan 20th – Feb 18): Angels singing and the last days of summer heat wreak havoc on your vampiric senses and set your teeth on edge. September also brings about shorter days, and longer nights. You’ve been cooped up for far too long, and the nighttime brings out the more aggressive nature of your ruling planet Uranus. You can’t wait to litter the dark hours with exsanginated corpses as you make up for lost time.

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): The vibrant nature of the transitioning seasons speaks to both your inner artist, and your shapeshifter. The beauty you see and feel pushes you to the brink of madness, much like Picasso. As fall draws near the nymphs take over and you use the skin of your victims as the canvass for your blood-red masterpieces.

Aries (Mar 21 – April 19): The volatile times of September definitely pair nicely with your turbulent nature. The choir of angels speak in unison in as the full moon lights your way during the harvest moon, when your inner werewolf is at its peak. They reign in your feral nature as you use the transitioning times to add numbers to your depleted pack.

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): As the dog days of summer draw to a close, your inner hell-hound is ready for a break from the stifling heat, even though the transitioning seasons play on your hatred of sudden change. As you sniff in the crisp air your claws grow razor-sharp and you salivate, ready to shred your victims and return them to the soil.

Gemini (May 21-Jun 20): There is an unsung duality that goes with transitioning seasons that leaves your doppelgänger singing with the angels. It allows you to camouflage yourself and sneak up on your unsuspecting victims. The indecisiveness of summer’s death rattle could leave anxiety and confusion coursing through your veins.

Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): The angelic choir drowns out your banshee wail for most of the month, leaving you mute and unable to play the way you’re accustomed to. This leaves you moody and overly suspicious of others until the nymphs take over, their nefarious manipulations speaking to the angels of your darker nature as your wail goes out hunting, thirsty for blood.

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22): The swan song of summer leaves your fairy in a playful mood. After a busy month holding court in August you lie on the grass with the fleeting warmth of long days. As the month moves forward your mischievous nature comes back with full force, and you once again begin making deals for the souls of your victims.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22):  You feel most at home during this month, as you are surrounded by the songs of your choir. This is the month where your dark angel feeds on the fruits of its harvest, your victims called to you by the sweet sound of your wings.

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): Your nymph takes over as fall takes its first steps, leaving you with the first part of the month to focus on your pleasure, and the pain of others. But as fall descends and the harvest moon looms full, you become consumed with what your flock will do with in the darker nights of fall.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): Much like Cancer’s banshee, your siren call is drowned out by the angel choir for most of the month, leaving you feeling restless as your darker angels toil inside you. And your demons shall run once your jealous rage takes over.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): The song of the angels fills your ghostly spirit almost to the point of being corporal during this month, and the longer nights will give you a better opportunity to do your best haunting and hunting under the harvest moon.

The Fae Court: Your August Horror-Scope

Fae

Welcome to the second installment of a new feature on Typos of Life: your monthly horror-scope, where predictions about your demonic treachery await.

August Overview: The court of the fae dominates this month before giving way to a choir of angels on the 23rd. Manipulations and mischief run rampant, so watch your back while playing your prey against their own weaknesses. And if anyone makes you a promise, read the fine print. Although the fae can’t go back on their word, they adhere to the letter of the law, not its spirit. And the angels will be too absorbed in self-righteousness to lend voice to your cause.

Aquarius (Jan 20th – Feb 18): The cunning nature of your inner vampire salivates as you take stock of the worthy opponents surrounding you. Many will perish in your battle of wits with the manipulative fae, delightfully twirling their own entrails in their fingers before they realize what they’re doing. Your disdain for broken promises also leaves you in conflict this month, double checking every deal for built-in loopholes.

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): Although the stifling heat is melting your shapeshifter, it still proves useful as you play both sides against each other in the court of fae. Many will do your bidding and slay your enemies without knowing what master they truly serve. As the month progresses your wisdom comes in conflict with your cruelty.  The angels will speak to your inner martyr turning your violence inward. Your self-inflicted wounds will leave a trail of blood all the way into September.

Aries (Mar 21 – April 19): The long days and blistering sun leave your werewolf little time to howl at the moon, and you’re impatience rises to a rapid boil. You’re compulsion to take actions without thinking them through could make you easy prey for the fae if you’re not careful. You could be a powerful weapon in their hands, becoming their enforcer, collecting payments due from those souls unfortunate enough to sign these tainted deals.

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): The heightened senses of your hell-hound are set on edge by the mischief and mayhem of the fae. Their behaviors running in direct opposition to your straightforward and loyal tendencies. Once you’ve caught the fae’s scent you create your own path of blood and carnage tracking them down. You will not rest until their manipulative throats are in your teeth and you silence them for good.

Gemini (May 21-Jun 20):  Your love of communication leaves you sickened by the fae’s use of it for their own sinister means. But your dueling doppelgängers leave you conflicted about whether you’re enraged by or envious of their cunning linguistic skills. Your conflict turns inward at first, as you are unsure of what to do with yourselves. But ultimately you decide to seek those that strike deals with the fae, your envy turning to rage as you attempt to claw the answers you seek from their flesh.

Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): Your banshee starts off the month searching for some well-earned down time after a busy July. But you soon find there is no rest for the wicked. You want nothing more than for your manipulative wails to meld with the mischief of the fae, and then drown out the choir of the angels as the month progresses. Unfortunately, your exhaustion intertwines with your insecurity and you lash out at the unsuspecting meat suits that mistakenly scurry across your path.

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22): This is your month as you are both king of the jungle and in control of the court. However, you could end up drunk on the blood of your own power if you aren’t careful, leaving you vulnerable to your many enemies. Your feline prowess combined with your fae cunning ultimately keep you safe, but only after your primal bloodlust carves you a new throne from the corpses of your enemies.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22): Your angels take over in the back-end of this month, but until then you have to bide your time, and your tongue, while the fae hold court. The frustration of watching the fae rule seeps into the wall between right and wrong as you begin to question your sense of loyalty towards humanity. Michael’s sword sharpens into Lucifer’s blade as the month progresses and the masses hear the voice of your choir until their blood boils with the frequency of the fire flickering within you.

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22):  Your diplomatic and fair-minded eyes keep watch over the fae this month. As you try to mother hen your friends and keep them from deals that sound sweet now but are bad in the long run. Your concern leaves you distracted and exhausted as your nymph takes over, his materialistic urges leaving you making a deal  with a steep price. Your hen-house is slick with the blood of those you tried to protect.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): As you are both distrusting and resourceful you have no use for the fae. Their promises remind you of the nefariousness of a crossroads demon. Instead, you use your siren song to coax those close to you only to entice them to do your bidding instead. Unfortunately for them, they discover to late your distrust leads you to discard them when you are done. Strewing their mutilated corpses throughout the street as a warning to those that would threaten to cross you.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): The ghost has always had a unique relationship with the fae. As ghosts aren’t truly bound by this realm, they aren’t subject to the court of the fae. As such, there is an uneasy truce where you leave each other alone. This unease is amplified as you watch those close to you fall subject to constant manipulation and then mayhem that comes with it. This offends your honest sensibilities, leaving you to want to terrorize your friends into staying home until the threat has passed. You take your haunting too far and many pay the price for your overzealousness.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): If your mermaid could stay submerged in the cool waters of the lake until summer is over and court is in recess you would. But instead you feel lost in a sea of worst expectations. You exercise your frustration by drowning your enemies in a tidal wave of your own unforgiving judgement. Many suffocate, their bloated bodies now serving as cautionary bouys, a warning to those thinking of sharing your waters.

The Banshee’s Wail: Your July Horror-Scope

Banshee

Welcome to the first installment of a new feature here on Typos of Life: your monthly horror-scope, where predictions about your demonic treachery await.

July Overview: The summer heat is prime time for the Devil’s demons to run. Led by the vocal banshee before shifting on the 22nd to the manipulative fae can leave all creatures with a sense of whiplash, and a good reason to grow eyes in the back of your head.

Aquarius (Jan 20th – Feb 18): The summer heat combines with the violent vocals of the banshee, wreaking havoc on your shy and quiet tendencies. This allows the aggressive aspects from your ruling planet Uranus to come out and play. The vampire inside you seeks shelter from the sun. But you’ll spend the precious hours from dusk to dawn exsanguinating the bodies of all who cross your path.

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): The abilities of your shapeshifting nature are stifled by the July heat, leaving you feeling like a fish out of water. As you give in to your desire to escape reality, the nefarious fae gaslights your consciousness, making you believe that you are helping those you care for. Until you wake up in a pool of their blood, no memories of your actions against the corpses splayed before you.

Aries (Mar 21 – April 19): The heat of the month is maddening, heightening your inclination to take action without thinking it through. Longer days leave your werewolf caged for far too long. So you take matters into your own hands during the day, your violent temper ripping the limbs from those that seek to contain you, gnawing on the tantalizing flesh once night falls.

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): July’s temperament is the perfect environment for your inner hellhound to run wild and inflict carnage on your enemies. Normally practical and reserved, the cries of the banshee put you in a feral state of unquenchable bloodlust, no matter how many times the spoils of your claws refill your dish.

Gemini (May 21-Jun 20): It’s your deepest hope that your doppelgänger will keep you safe from the beasts that run this time of turmoil. But you cannot fight the angst and anxiety of being heat’s captive, the rising temperatures melting your once gentle nature. Your victims this month will include those close to you, manipulatively sucked in by your two-faced demeanor.

Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): Your banshee runs the show for the lions share of this month, making the entire world yours to do with as you choose. Issues with controlling emotion and seeing clearly nearly allow your victims to turn the tables. But you regain control when your ruling body, the moon, lays its steady hand  on you. Your violent cries ultimately controlling the beasts around you through fear and searing sonic pain.

Leo (July 23 – Aug 22): As your ruling body is the sun, you find yourself with enhanced energy during the summer. And your ruling creature fae takes over later in the month, increasing your power. Although your lion’s roar can keep pace with the banshee’s cry, your arrogance could be your downfall, and you could find yourself left swinging from the end of a rope created by your own manipulations.

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22): The demons ruling the roost this month conflict with your normally angelic sensibilities, but Lucifer was once an angel too. Your more nefarious side burns inside you as your worry for society turns inward and becomes paranoia. It will take months to find the bodies of those that go missing for trespassing on your house.

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): Your normal love for the outdoors is suffocating in this heat, leaving you feeling trapped. This feeling will leave your nymph energies turned in an odd direction. Sex is your ultimate weapon as sexual pleasures manifest themselves as violent acts against your suitors. Each violent orgasm leaving you hungry for more.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): Your siren song could meld in unison with your sister banshee this month, but it could just as easily lead to a street fight of shattered windows and souls. Your jealous nature could rear its ugly head as your distrust and violence toward others leaves its mark on those that make the mistake of answering your call.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): As your ghosts can only come out at night, you find the long days and searing sun to be confining, leaving your rage to backbuild as the darker hours grow near. You spend your nights continuing the terrors caused by other demons during the heat of the day, ensuring that the weary and exhausted souls around you know no rest.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): The mermaid inside you wants nothing more than the tranquil coolness of water this month. However, water can’t save you from the banshee’s cry becoming a catalyst as you begin expecting the worst. Your more aggressive nature is unlocked, leaving your blood to boil as self-preservation causes you to you poison all of those that dare try to join you for a swim.

The Devil Hides Behind the Cross

Devil Cross

Smoke began filling the air as soon as The Cameron Gang exited the bank. Gunshots, splintering wood and shattering glass surrounded them as they dove behind the troughs for cover. The terror filled cries of horses pierced the chaos. The air was acrid, gunpowder gelling with humidity, creating a stench that reminded Johnny of brimstone.

“Guess they knew we were coming,” Ed shouted, snapping Johnny out of his trance.

“They just wanted to give us a proper sendoff,” Johnny shouted back. His cocksure grin grew wider in defiance of a town trying to uphold its law. To protect its money. To protect its own.

He took the saddlebag from his shoulder and tossed it to the shortest member of their group. “Billy, you and Jim get the horses behind the bank while Ed, Bobby and I draw their fire. We’ll meet you back there.”

Billy and Jim scrambled off without a word, crab walking to avoid the bullets. They obeyed his orders without question. Appointing him leader wasn’t something they decided. No one had questioned him going all the way back to the war. No one knew exactly why, or when. One day they were just following him.

Johnny drew a Colt with his left hand to match the one already in his right. The twin six guns were responsible for countless deaths, saving his life with each one. He learned to kill during the war, and lost his humanity. He parted with it willingly. The war brought him out of a lazy stupor that had dominated his life. It didn’t create his instinct to kill, merely nurtured it. Less of a birth mother and more of a wet nurse. It kept him full. But each time at the tit left him wanting more.

His experience as a soldier and an outlaw guided his hands as he fired in the direction with the most guns pointed at him. He managed to kill seven before diving into the protection of the bank, narrowly avoiding another onslaught of bullets.

He lived for these days and one day it would kill him. But today wasn’t that day and he knew it. Without hesitation he shot the banker, the only soul left in the building, as a precaution.

The others had pinned most of the vigilante townsfolk into a stale standoff. Timidity now weighed down the sporadic bullets.

“What now?” Billy said, crouching under one of the shattered windows. The banker’s head wound oozing blood into a puddle surrounding his boots.

“Go out the back. I’ll meet you there, there’s something I have to do first,” Johnny spoke, his mind already off in the distance. His eyes drawn to a building across the street.

As soon as the gang made a break for it, the vigilantes found their courage. The bullets of novice marksmanship serving as the final death rattle in a battle already lost. A battle that was proof that good doesn’t always triumph over evil.

Just as he had predicted, for a moment the amateur lawmen forgot all about him, providing him with the opening he needed. He slithered along the ground outside until he was clear of the bank.

Johnny sauntered into the church, gun smoke wafting off his duster. Sunlight from the open door melded with the smoke and cast his shadow in front of him. He made his way up the pews with an intense casualness ignorant of the chaos outside. He gazed up, contemplating the Christ child splayed out on the cross above him, his cocksure grin once again dancing across his teeth.

He tossed a coin purse onto the pulpit with a devil may care flick of his wrist, his eyes still engaged in a staring contest. His icy gaze turned to the priest crouched in front of the sanctuary’s two shaking parishioners, a man and a woman humbled by their fear.

“God always gets his cut.”

Silence hung heavy in the air as he turned and sauntered back into the gunfight.